The TechCrunch 20 conference taking place in September is nothing short of revolutionary. A game show where it costs $2,495 to be an audience member and one NDA-less business idea to be a contestant. The winner of the showcase showdown gets $50,000 instead of an RV or trip to Mexico. Jason Calacanis as Bob Barker; how could this not be a catastrophic success?

Some asshole spilled Calacanis all over this new shirt

TechCrunch20 is going to be the biggest thing ever. According to Jason:

I'm thinking that every VC in the internet space will have at least one person at the event--in many cases 2-3! So, this could be the largest gathering of capital + press + startups ever.

Let's just state some truth here: Jason Calacanis is going to use this event as another way to draw attention to Mahalo. The guy can't help himself when it comes to large servings of public self love. The chance to MC an event with a ridiculous amount of media and attention: delicious.

It's not a panel if there are 18 people on it

Panels usually consist of 4 or 5 people leading a discussion. At TechCrunch 20 they've assembled a mega panel to judge the failtarts that is a motley crue of money, tech media and dance skills. Here are my annotations to the roster:

Marc Andreessen (Co-founder, Ning) - Created graphical interface to netweb

Chris Anderson (Editor-In-Chief, Wired Magazine) - Tech media

Ryan Block (Editor-In-Chief, Engadget) - Knocked four billions dollars off of Apples stock price in one day

Roelof Botha (Partner, Sequoia Capital) - Cool first name

Ron Conway (angel investor and advisor)
Mark Cuban (Founder, HDNet) - Luckiest man alive

Esther Dyson (Founder, EDventure) - Investor in Powerset

Caterina Fake (Co-founder, Flickr) - One of the few good things to come out of web2

Brad Garlinghouse (SVP,Communications & Communities, Yahoo!) - Said Yahoo was peanut butter

MC Hammer (Musical Artist and Advisor, DanceJam) - MC Hammer (born Stanley Kirk Burrell on March 30, 1963) is an American MC who was popular during the late 1980s and early 1990s, known for his dramatic rise to and fall from fame and fortune, his trademark Hammer pants, and for leaving a lasting influence on hip hop culture and music.

Guy Kawasaki (Founder Garage Technology Ventures) - Funds things that don't work

Sarah Lacy (reporter and author) - Wrote that business week cover article saying Kevin Rose was worth $60million based on no facts

Loïc Le Meur (entrepreneur, LeWeb organizer and blogger) - French guy who is obsessed with silicon valley

Om Malik (Founder, GigaOm) - Has VC for his blog network

Marissa Mayer (VP, Search Products & User Experience, Google) - Dated Larry Page before moving on to Dave Jeske.

Rajeev Motwani (Professor, Stanford University) - Too smart for this web 2.0 shit

Robert Scoble (Scobleizer and Podtech) - The new spam. Needs to be classified off the internet.

Yossi Vardi (early stage investor and advisor.) - Seems important

Everyone knows the conference business is a scam

It's the Price is Right meets Best in Show. Mike Arrington makes bank. Jason Calacanis desperately tries to convince the world he's going to eventually compete with Google. The end.