var rimzu = new Rimzu();
/ 24.Apr.2007
Disclaimer: I don't have an invite for Rimzu. All of my information I got from reading the FAQ and clicking View Source on the home page.
The title of this article is an actual line of code from Rimzu. I can't make this up. The developers behind Rimzu seem to have taken eating your own dog food to a new level. They've graciously exposed the Rimzu API as a SOAP web service, and developed the Rimzu web site using nothing but their own API and a shit-ton of Javascript. On one hand, you know they've exposed a considerable amount of functionality via the web service, but on the other, you also know they've immediately shot themselves in the foot. Has anyone else ever written a web front-end using nothing but Javascript and web services? It's not pretty.
My Ajax Nightmare Revisited
Upon viewing the source of the Rimzu homepage, I had immediate cold sweats and a violent flashback to the Ajax nightmare Kyle wrote about. I saw this:
<script type="text/javascript" src="dojo/dojo.js"></script>
and a piece of me died. It's a Javascript-palooza. I won't go into graphic detail because you can view the source and witness the atrocities firsthand. Suffice it to say, you'll find gems like displayUserContactsGetContactsCallback all over the place.
It's 1999 All Over Again
This is a classic example of misguided Dojo development that mashes the model, view and controller all into Javascript. In fact, if you read between the lines, this is really the Web 2.0 version of hacked-together PHP. Instead of inline SQL statements like SELECT * FROM users WHERE id = ?, you have calls to web service methods like getUsersInfo(id). Instead of using a simple iteration construct to append items to a unordered list, you use a for-loop in Javascript and append elements to the DOM. Instead of just printing out a value on the page, you create a div or a span and set the innerHTML to the value. This style makes sense for certain features, but when you start to develop an entire web application in this manner, it quickly becomes sloppy, unstable and unmaintainable. Nothing is more frustrating than being faced with a task like retrieving a value from the database and displaying it on the page, only to have to ask yourself "okay I know how to do this in normal server-side web development, now how the hell do I do it in Javascript."
The School of Hard Knocks
The point is that Rimzu could have developed their web site using a server-side framework that makes sense, and still used their web service API for all the data. Instead, they decided to use Dojo, write an all Javascript front-end, and suck. The Rimzu landing page has nothing more than a few paragraphs of text, some links, and a login form. However, it still exhibits the "hang the browser while it front-loads the Javascript" trademark of a Dojo application. You could write web applications this way. You could also pound nails with a screwdriver (believe me I've tried), move all of your belongings across six states in a Ford Escort (I've tried that too) or get drunk on wine made in a milk jug (yup). Just use the right tool for the job! Most web development software out there is free and open source. There's no excuse.
My Friends Like Me 3.4% Better
Once I was able to find a paper bag and stop hyperventilating, I stopped and asked myself "wait, what does Rimzu actually do?" The landing page touts the open API, sociometric data, and tight security. Okay, but when you sign in to Rimzu, what do you actually do? What do you click on? Why would you use it? A quick look to their FAQ answers these questions:
After logging-in to Rimzu, a question will appear on the bottom right of the screen, e.g. "Who is nicer, Andy or Bob?". To answer, simply click on one of the names and the question will be replaced with a new one. [...] The system analyses your (and everyone else's) answers, and using some Math Mambo Jumbo knows how each user is ranked on each trait.
What? So Rimzu lets you keep track of which friends you like and which friends you don't like. Sounds very high school to me. I kept reading and found this:
For example, if your black line for "Niceness" points to 75%, it means that your friends perceive you as nicer than 75% of their friends.
It gives you "niceness" graphs? No way. Rimzu is the ultimate web 2.0 popularity contest. Your coolness is actually plotted on a graph. Rimzu is clearly preying on our inherent egotism, and unfortunately, I have a feeling they'll succeed. The MySpace crowd will eat this up. They're obviously not bothered by piss-poor user interfaces, but instead are way too concerned about their friend count.
I'm pretty sure this is Rimzu's business model:
Step 1: Use the term "social network"
Step 2: Open up all functionality via an API
Step 3: ???
Step 4: Profit!!!
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