We've had a lot of fun at Zoho's expense here at Uncov, but what do you expect? They're the failingest bunch of fails that ever failed a fail.

Now, Zoho's goal is to re-implement every existing office application in Ajax, adding no functionality whatsoever, and in many cases, removing features (cuz, ya know, that's like hard to code and shit). Zoho believes that an application will be better simply by virtue of being web-based. And they think that their theory holds for Powerpoint, too.

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Okay, let's make a presentation with Zoho Show. This ought to be entertaining.

I'll start with their generic template and add some stuff to it. Sounds easy, right? Well, I would like to park a little polygon in the middle. Everyone knows that venture capitalists love polygons.

So I made my star, and now I can't move it. That's some quality engineering right there. I will give them the benefit of the doubt, though. Maybe dragging a polygon is NP-Hard.

Surely, I should be able to edit some text:

I won, but failed along the way. A 1GHz Athlon can barely handle text editing in this new Web 2.0 thingy. Maybe I need a faster computer?

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Clearly, like all other Zoho products, Zoho Show doesn't work for anything beyond toy examples. And it barely passes that milestone. Speaking of examples, I would like to talk about the use case for this product for a second.

Let's say I am middle management at a giant multinational corporation. I am trying to claw my way to the top. All of my co-workers know that I am dead wood and I haven't been fired yet only because I have one kid that I am putting through college, and another kid who was, shall we say, a "surprise", and is about to enter elementary school.

Alright, I have to make a presentation to some vice president level executives about some obnoxiously boring topic like quarterly sales figures. They only show up to this meeting so they can snooze for an hour and pretend like they're doing real work, but in my mind, they are listening intently. If I ace this, I think, I will get a promotion and my life will have meaning.

I took my company laptop home and worked all night on my presentation. My marriage is hanging on by a thread because my wife thinks I work too much, and tonight is no exception. I am up until 2AM making sure that the text/background contrast is good. On my way to bed, I rub one out in the bathroom, using my wife's Victoria's Secret catalog.

The next morning, I give my presentation. I plug my laptop into the projector and fly through my well-rehearsed spectacle. The VPs ask some questions, the answers to which would have been obvious if they were paying attention to the slides. I answer them confidently, with beads of sweat forming under my comb-over. I leave the conference room and head toward the break room, turning over in my head how I think it went.

In the break room, I run into Peggy from accounts receivable. She knew that I was giving this big presentation, and asks me how I did. I tell her that I think I did well, but "we'll see". Peggy asks if I used Zoho Show to give my presentation, because I could edit it anywhere, since Zoho Show is on the web. I say no, I used Powerpoint because I have a laptop, like almost everyone else ever who has given a slideshow-based presentation.